Come Undone
by gibberish10
Summary: No one has asked him how he felt, but Alec did.


So, as I've received some requests to continue Broken Arrows scene, I've decided to give it a go and fill in what Malec could have discussed on the balcony before they moved down to tracking Jace shirtless Alec *drool*.

It's something short which I hope you'll all enjoy :")  
Title inspired from My Darkest Days's song - Come Undone.

Also, I recommend reading Broken Arrows first ^^

Let me know your thoughts!~  
xoxo

* * *

 **Come Undone**

 _I'm falling in love with him_.

"Penny for your thoughts." Magnus' voice drew Alec from his thoughts and looked at him even more flushed. He enjoyed Magnus' closeness to him, the way he looked at him with hopeful and starry eyes like Alec was someone he couldn't believe existed. It scared him in the same time as well.

He knew nothing of love and relationships and Magnus was so much more experienced than him in many areas of life. It made Alec feel like a new born baby, prone to make the ugliest of the mistakes. Like he had done earlier and Magnus had so understandingly forgiven him.

"It's nothing. I'm just happy I came." Alec finally replied to Magnus who hummed, but seemed not to believe him entirely. But he never pressed and this was something that Alec found fascinating and challenging in the same time.

Were it for him, he would have questioned Magnus if he felt he was hiding something or not being entirely honest. Not Magnus though, no, he listened when you were ready to talk and never pressured you into revealing your worries.

"I'm happy too you came, Alexander." Magnus said as he leaned against the brick rail of the balcony, his hand finding Alec's in a soft, feathery touches. "As surprising it might be, I understand how one feels when facing the loss or disappearance of someone they care about." He continued, his eyes cast downwards, the aura surrounding him rather nostalgic and sad.

"I didn't mean to imply you wouldn't understand these matters." Alec shook his head and gripped Magnus' hand in return. "Now that Jace's missing, I'm not always thinking straight." The last word made Magnus' lips quirk up momentarily. "And I might say things I don't necessarily mean."

"I know." Magnus looked at him, head tilted sideways as a soft smile grazed his lips. "You're a shadowhunter with no filter, Alexander." He said teasingly while Alec paled in horror making Magnus panic slightly. "I mean, your emotions get the best of you at times and I truly get that since your frankness is very refreshing in your kind and I appreciate that a lot." He paused and then looked at Alec rather flustered – "I'm not making this any better, am I?"

Alec snorted in soft laughter as he lowered his head briefly, his cheeks having regained their blush from earlier. "Slightly better." He taunted the other one, their eyes finding each other in a tender, full of understanding gaze. "Can I ask you something, Magnus?" He spoke after a while, his voice quiet as a whisper.

"Of course."

"How do _you_ feel?" Alec's eyes were shinning with compassion and hurt, making Magnus wonder if this was a question about their relationship or about something else.

"I don't understand. How do I feel about Jace's missing?"

Alec shook his head in denial. "No." He paused and he seemed to gather his courage before asking – "How do you feel after losing Ragnor Fell? Clary told us what happened and with everything going on, the wedding, Jace's missing…we never got to talk about him. He was your friend, right?"

Magnus' lips parted slightly in surprise as he looked at Alec with an unguarded expression. He had not expected someone to have noticed or to have care about him missing Ragnor or even mourning him. The world's well-being was at stake and Magnus had lost many people before, he should be used by now. And here he was, this brave and emotional shadowhunter, inquiring about his own emotional state, about his mental state after losing a friend he had cherished and love for many, many years.

The warlock felt tears pricking the corner of his eyes and he lowered his head, shaking it gently as if to get rid of them. "Magnus?" Alec's voice was worried and fearful and he couldn't even bring himself to say that he was _fine_ , that he missed his friend and yes, he and Cat have mourned him in their own way and Ragnor will always be a hole in their lives.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –" He heard Alec and all he could do was to hold on tighter on the shadowhunter's hand. That was when Alec understood so he simply offered his presence and his hand, letting Magnus get a grip over his emotions, over his loss.

Magnus had lost someone so very recently and Alec had snapped at him like he knew nothing. He had been so wrong and shame washed over him together with guilt. He brought his other hand to cover Magnus' one, barely hearing the sharp intake of air from the warlock.

"Ragnor…" He heard Magnus' voice, raw and hurt and his chest tightened. "…I called him _my dear little cabbage_." A soft chuckle left his lips after saying this and Alec felt the emotion behind this endearing. "He abhorred it and I kept calling him like this because I knew this." He continued, caught up in his memories and sudden comfort offered by Alec. "It was his memory which pushed me to come crashing at your wedding."

This time, Magnus looked up at Alec and he could see the moist eyes, the chaos of emotions in their beautiful color. "He always knew what to say in times that mattered."

Alec pushed down the lump he felt in his throat. "He sounds like he was a wonderful person."

Magnus chuckled. "He was. And many more." A few moments of silence followed and Alec watched Magnus get pulled down the memory lane, where he couldn't follow. "He didn't deserve to die, Alexander." He finally spoke, the sadness of his tone impaling itself into Alec's heart.

"No one does." The warlock nodded in agreement. "Do you think…" He stopped and Magnus looked at him curiously. "…do you think you can tell me more about Ragnor? I'd like to know him as you've known him."

"Are you sure you want to do this when Jace's missing?" Magnus asked, understanding as always.

"All the more. You have been here for me when I was acting out because of Jace. I want to be there for you too."

Magnus' breath caught in his throat as he listened to Alec's words. He had forgotten how it was to have someone care for your well-being, emotionally or physically. He had pursued Alec because he genuinely liked him and because there was something about him that drew Magnus even more to him. He had always had high hopes when it came to love, but he hadn't truly expected to find comfort and kindness returned so soon.

"I'll tell you what we can do." Magnus smiled at him confidently. "Let's try and track Jace trough your parabatai rune first and I'll use my magic to minimize the pain." He paused, chuckling at Alec's surprise. "Then I'll tell you more about Ragnor."

Alec looked at him with his heart feeling ready to burst because of all these emotions he was having for Magnus. "Are you sure this would work? I was actually going to ask you to help me with this as well…"

The warlock seemed amused momentarily. "Great minds think alike." He winked at Alec who got flustered just a little. "I can't say for sure if it would work, but we can definitely avoid you falling into a coma because of your parabatai rune." He continued with a serious tone which got Alec nodding in understanding. "But I want you to promise me something, Alexander."

The word _anything_ was on the tip of Alec's tongue, but for some reason, he held back. Promises like this shouldn't be made so casually and to him, Magnus was anything but casual. "What?" He asked instead and Magnus looked suddenly intense as he put his hand over where Alec's parabatai rune was.

"Don't go too far. My magic can only keep the pain at bay."

Alec understood the rest of the message – _but not death_. So, he simply nodded, leaning in enough to have their foreheads touching. He could tell that he surprised Magnus again and some part of him was giddy with this knowledge. For someone who had lived for so long, he was happy he could still surprise him one way or another.

"I promise."

Magnus exhaled a slow breath before pulled away to look at Alec. "Now, let's get undressed." He allowed a small joke before they got down to serious business.

Alec laughed relieved. As long as he had Magnus by his side, he could do anything.

* * *

I hope I didn't make you all too emotional with the topic of Malec discussion XD  
Since my twitter TL was filled with questions about Magnus not being asked how he felt over Ragnor's death, I decided that would make a pretty solid topic for their relationship's development, so... the above came into being ^^

Now, let's wait for next episode of Shadowhunters! *O*


End file.
